~ Family Bed – Part Two~

Me!  I'm a wife to my precious husband, Khairul Adha and a mother to my sweet little gorgeous princess, Khayra Amirah. I Love to breastfeed my baby.. :) I love my Family so much... :D

For those who read this articles from MBP may think, why am I post the same topic at my blog pulak. Actually, it is slightly different. In this article, I just want to clarify in certain things that I missed to elaborate in my issues on family bed. For those who is not familiar with term ‘family bed’ or ‘co-sleeping’, it generally means sleeping in the same bed with our children instead of sleeping separately. You can read more in my column at MBP.

Based on the replies and comments in the family bed’s articles, most Malaysians prefer to co-sleep with their children. However, for those who choose otherwise, they provide very good reason/concern:

1. Afraid they will squash the baby while they are sleeping or even worse, Sudden Infant Death (SID) will happen.

For those who choose co-sleep with your children, you must set in your minds, safety is the most important factor. There is a guideline that we need to follow to ensure co-sleep is safe for both baby and us. Firstly, choose the right bed. Don’t use water bed or mattress that is too soft. It can lead to a danger for our children especially infants. Try to avoid sofa or other surface which is not specifically designed for infants, or if the baby would be sleeping on soft bedding, such as pillows, comforters, quilts or sheepskin.

If the parents is too obess ( sorry to say ) it is safer if you do not choose family bed. This is to avoid the possibility of smothering child. Better be careful. Other than that, parents that under the influence of alcohol or drugs which can dull an adult’s sensitivity to an infant or child in the same bed, better not choose co-sleeping. Actually, it is better you don’t take any drug or alcohol at all because it is not good for our health.

However, there are parents that choose to attach a single bed beside their bed and sleep together. It is a good alternative to prevent risk of being squash or something and It give the baby their own safe space while keeping them within our arm’s reach. As a matter of fact, this way is also recommended by expert.

2. How to make intimate relationship?

Haa.. This is the issue that everyone must have in mind. How to avoid our children from seeing us while doing the intimate relationship? Actually, this is the time that we can think creatively how to make the relationship more adventurous or different than normal routine. We can think of other places that we never bother to do, then it is the time. But if you feel not comfortable or it is difficult, ( maybe you stay in your PIL, like me.. ) you can put your children in their crib or their playpen for the moment. After all done, you can transfer them back to sleep with you. 

If you think from positive way, actually it is fun and interesting because we do in different way that we never think before. ;))

3. Hard time to separate them when they grow older.

Children will actually develop the desire to move on and have their own space, including their own sleeping space. But, not every child will have same schedule as others. Each child has their own time and each baby is unique. It is better if we not force them to do it our way. Let them choose when it is the time to sleep on their own bed. If you looking forward to know natural parenting, yes, this is one of the kinds. Let our child decide when the time is coming is one of the principe in natural parenting. We do not force them to achieve something that we believe its the right one. Let them decide. When the time is right, they themselves, will know when or how. You want to know more about natural parenting you can ask hanz, our columnist on natural parenting in 1supekids.

Aman tenang je kalau tengok Khayra tidur.. Ni time dah penat sangat la nih…

While choosing weather family bed is suitable for you or not, please remembers there are no right or wrong to this. Both have their own pros and cons. It is up to us as, parents to choose, which one is beneficial to our family, to our relationship. Like I said many times, we as a parents should know what is the best for our children.